GTP Characters

Eight playable legends, one city, nobody is the good one A character switch wheel and nothing to press

01 · OverviewWhat is Grand Theft Pons

Grand Theft Pons had the cover, the map and the delay. This is the cast page: the eight faces that have been in every timeline since 2010, finally living in the same city on the same coast at the same sunset.

Scroll and the game switches character. The screen blows out, the wheel turns, the new one is standing there with their own stats already filled in. It is the switch from the game, without the game.

Format: Eight full screen key arts, one switch wheel, four stat bars

Palette: Hot pink, amber, teal, film grain, sun on the water

Sister site: Grand Theft Pons, the cover and the countdown that keeps slipping

Chain: Robinhood Chain, token through the Pons launchpad

02 · RosterThe eight

playable ├── Doge the driver has never once explained where he is going ├── Pepe the dealer sells nothing, knows everybody, never leaves the pool ├── Wojak the night shift drives until six in the morning, then thinks about it ├── Trollface the hacker was in the room the whole time and said nothing ├── Gigachad the door decides who gets in, and it is not you ├── Cheems the badge writes all of it down and files none of it ├── Grumpy Cat the boss says no first, then asks what it was └── Pink Wojak the mark bought the top, held the bag, is somehow still here

They are types, not people. Nobody real is being cast here and none of them are based on anyone living.

03 · StatsFour bars

Driving, Shooting, Stamina, Luck. They refill on every switch and none of them are balanced. The boss cannot drive. The mark has ninety six stamina and four luck, which is the entire joke and also the whole story.

Highest driving: Doge, ninety eight, and he still will not say where

Highest luck: Grumpy Cat, one hundred, because she stopped taking risks

Lowest luck: Pink Wojak, four, and he has never once complained

04 · ControlsUsing the site

Scroll: Switches character. One per screen, eight in total

The wheel: Bottom right. It turns so the active face is always at the top

Sound: Quiet until you tap. Your first click anywhere starts a slow loop

The end: The full cast in a grid, then the contract on a loading slab

05 · TokenToken

One token for the whole cast, launching on Robinhood Chain through the Pons launchpad. The contract sits at the end of the page and here. Until then both say soon and the copy button says not yet.

Contractsoon

Buy on Pons

Chain: Robinhood Chain, EVM, addresses start with 0x

Launchpad: Pons, ponsfamily.com. Buy opens the launchpad, and the token page once the address is in

Chart: DexScreener on Robinhood Chain once the token is live

06 · PrivacyNothing is stored

No backend, no account, no cookies, nothing written to your browser. Eight pictures, eight faces and your scroll position.

Music: One CC0 loop from OpenGameArt, plays after your first tap

Reduced motion: If your system asks for it the grain and the switch flash stop, the characters still change

Affiliation: None. Not a game, not connected to any game or studio, not advice

07 · FAQQuestions

Is this a real gameNo. It is a cast page for a game that does not exist and will not be made

Can I play as any of themYou already are. The scroll is the switch and there is nothing else to press

Why is nobody the good oneLook at the roster again

Where is the map and the trailerOn the other site, along with the release date that keeps moving

What happens at launchThe contract appears on the slab, buy starts pointing at the token page, the cast stays the same